Let’s take a big breath and relax….
There will always be quarrels between siblings and don’t trust anyone who tells you otherwise… (it happens to the best of us…).
In fact, quarrels and conflicts between siblings, are not necessarily a negative factor as it is a natural part in the development of family dynamics.
Quarrels can teach the child important skills like the right and duty to stand up for his, how and when to give up when needed, the power of asking for forgiveness and reconciliation, what the boundaries and red lines are and you may be surprised to hear that studies show this is a significant part of present and future negotiation skills.
The nature of quarrel varies of course according to age, the number of siblings in the family and necessarily depends on the parent’s response to the quarrel.
Many mistakes are made in our dealings as parents in quarrels between siblings.
Often, a parent tends to intervene in quarrels in order to achieve “quiet” in the short term.
Often, without even being aware of it, we navigate the quarrel in a way that determines the pattern of behaviour and the “box” we categorize each child in. This can have significant effects on the child’s image and perception of definition later in life.
Proper dealing between siblings prepares children and give them the right tools to cope with the social field outside the family.
Under parental consulting, we will learn together how to help children quarrel and end the quarrel correctly, we will learn to approach them when they quarrel in a way that will not determine their self-image, we will learn when to intervene, how to respond and provide tools for children to resolve quarrels themselves.